Sum up of february

It's first third March and it is the first post since my last January. February has been days to entertain people for most of the week I would say;

• Friend's of mum came to house and overnight, celebrating mum's special surprise birthday party together in the middle of the night
• Went to UIA PJ entering the lobby and lift with balloons getting ready in sya's room with five of my boloks to surprise Sya
• Having a fight & been scolded because of small car accident with this one chinese guy infront of UIA PJ's gate after celebrating birthday and have to give out fifty ringgit right away
• Mak came with abah and kak ayu from kampung selat since Awie got himself into VI's school, helping out to get, buy and collect few stuff from Mydin. Also, having a nice lunch together with the whole family (this is the part where I allow myself to just be there and bear with the thought of that might be an awkwardness but oh well it turned out well that Jameel also came to join in, good food like usual from mum as expected, great sharing spaces and laughters yey)
• Struggling with listening part for the upcoming test.
• Mai came from vietnam with both of her parents who can't speak in english at all and whenever we're trying to have a conversation mai would be our one and only superb translator, so mum, I and sister of mine have decided to take them for a tour seeing things and stuff around where most likely they enjoyed it very much and I even got an unexpected kissed on my cheeks from her mother during the time we're about to say goodbye after one and a half day spending time together lol.
• Still struggling with listening part. Plus an addition of writing part that I just figured out sometimes im just too slow in taking notes.
• Dealing with life and its up and down
• Faith

Its pretty bizarring sometimes how HE taught us each and every lesson in our life. How I went to accompany mak and family buying stuff that they need that I am very much consider of where and price, and how the next day I went to accompany Mai and family that I am also very much consider of places to go. Different lifestyle, different way of talking, another way of topic to be discussed, different world. Blessed. So much fun of entertaining people that no matter how tired and exhausted you are you just know that it's all worth it for every second & time that you spent. Pleased. 

A friend's of mine has just lost his mum this morning. Went for a visit, shared and talked. 

Two more weeks for a test. Four more month to look forward to. 

Keep calm. 

Enduring of what I called chest pain

I have always wanted to write down how my journey started in receiving my very first school's education system up until now. And how I have been trained and taught that the current system that we have nowadays does not even suited our generation anymore. And how I know the second people heard that they will go 'how come that even make any sense we're talking about an education system overhere hello' some sort of replied. And that how I have been grew up all these while by being teach of not to follow what I called 'people's common everyone-use-the-same-path footsteps'. Like how parents send their kids to school everyday hoping that their kids to excel in every freaking subjects that we have in our education, which leads to how these kids' mind being trained to not make their parents dissapointed because of what they got for their results in school, and what they have been done with their studies all this while. How teachers in class would go extremely mad if students didn't completed their homeworks given or making certain mistakes that probably shouldn't have been done or using physical touch to let them know thats your punishment for today and probably onwards too. Also leads to the part where students are afraid of making mistakes (probably in life too), not getting the results that they wanted to get in order to not dissapointed their parents, and even punishing their own selves thinking how stupid they are for not getting what they aimed for. Comparing selves with people as how system's compare by arranging the class based on what they got for their exams. For what some students who already got numerous of excel's result but just feeling of not enough for their effort and hoping to make it better for the next round which brings to more studying your ass off moment.

And one answer that has always been repeating eversince from the eldery in terms of why this and that is because thats how 'we' have been taught, trained and went through. Makan garam. By all means I am not saying that it is completely wrong and non efficient, its just that how up until now we doesnt even realized that we have been repeating the same pattern and how we can't simply just take our own way because the society might think we're weird and nonstop hows that possible question pop out. 

Stepping into the unknown, that is.

                                                                                                   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Despite all those ranting of how long should I be waking up everyday thinking of what to do every morning, fighting to the limit with procastination of not to delay anymore of time to opened up book and study, keep reminding self that I got an exam's coming up so I should be getting ready, I am currently still enjoying  my very best moment being home. Abah once said that once I have start studying later I will be missing this very best moment of life of just to be home so nurul, cherish it. 

I wish I know the right way to just cherish things. 

Blessed. 

Soothing blue sky is always soothing

Back then when I was kid, we (one family) used to travel a lot. When I said travelling, it doesn't necessarily means outside the nation or the country, it doesn't necessarily means going by car or any types of vehicles to somewhere really far. Going somewhere to other places apart from home is what I called travelling. Discovering new things, getting to meet and see new people most likely strangers, no matter where in the world it is even it is just two miles away from home. As long as you I got that 'feeling' of travelling, thats what matter most. I don't know I always have this one feeling of I just know that I am in the travelling mood somekind of things.

As times goes by, we tend to have less and less travelling's family time (sort of). Especially like in this year because of mum's state of health we weren't be able to like went back to our hometown during Raya and such. And by including whole siblings of mine are in their school's holidays period so the time that we spent most likely whole day at home playing psp sitting infront of the laptop for the whole day, watching movies, nonstop changing tv channels and etc seems just like most longest unproductive day ever that we have spent in out entire lives. 

And that one day when younger sister of mine keep mentioning of how we should stopping by somewhere since were going to Johor for relative's wedding and mum have been so much better to go somewhere far that requires long journey. I just shoot up and automatically said No. She stared at me blankly might wanting to ask why but she didn't and remained silent. So I told her that we're not in a state of good financial to just go somewhere chillin' ourselves since its still is requires money to just even filled up the car's fuel tank. And also abah seems to struggle more with his work nowadays that I made myself clear of my points. Its not that Im saying to her that we will never be able to travel again like we always did, but I'm saying that its just not today nor tomorrow. Not in the meantime. And that I also told her not to differentiate with anyone close to her, because I thought she might think and see how her friends having a family vacation together and all those good story time goes on.

She kept mentioning it few times after that, questioning about the same thing. Brought up the same idea. Until I find it hard to still keep to my defense, nonetheless I still said no. And she always end up crying everytime we have to argue about this matter that I just don't get it why is it so hard for her to understand the situation as of now. Or maybe I am the one who failed to get what she really meant.  That evening when I was lying on the couch stared blankly at the fan, mum came up to me and just smiled. I didnt know what was the smile for and I just immediately said that sometimes I just didn't know where and how to highlight the situation that we were facing. Mum went slowly by saying that she got that, she got what am I trying to do. But being in the situation doesn't need me to come from upset and anger when I'm holding to my defense. I said how come, she can't freaking get it. Mum said thats why, she can't freaking get it that I came from the space that I want her to just get what I got and changing her stand and mind as of now, she has been through her own experienced of family time and now she missed that and sometimes people just want you to listen to them, hear what shes actually trying to convey. And be in the situation doesn't need you to act upon it no matter whats the reason, you always have a choice to choose of how to act and behave. 

I guess I just failed in reading between the lines

The same evening mum asked me to go and buy 'roti banyak sayur kesayangan nenek' of mine (read: subway). Thats just the way my nenek always called it since she barely forgot to pronounce subway. She once used to ask our babu in our house area wherther he sells roti banyak sayur or not, poor babu that he must have went home and search for it since after that hes being invisible for like three days or so. Anyway that evening I am being too lazy ass to just go out just by looking at the weather, so I asked another younger sister of mine to teman me. And on our way home after passing by the ticket's parking machine, I accidently hit this one big and shallow hole when I am about to take the left turn. I am not really sure whether it is a hole  but it looks like some kind of tembok besar dan rendah yang bila kereta lalu kau tak mampu agak terdapat tembok di situ eh sedar sedar dah tersekat simpul mati. Mati akal. 

It was quite funny at first because half an hour after that another car got stucked at the same spot but oh hey looks theres just so many people came to help while theres no one stop by at ours. Did I mentioned that our car's tyre got leaked and flat and we were stucked at the side of the road having no credits in our phone hanya mengharapkan whatsapp itupun line celcom bolok nyawa nyawa ikan keli with raining cat and dogs outside and oh another great news! Car's fuel tank was left about 7km more, what a death note. 

I took the umbrella and got out of the car went back of the car to look for extra tyre and there it is. We were like clapping happily founding the extra tyre until we realized one thing, now how to change this. I kept looking for the guided booklet or something seriously theres none found and my sister went like 'haven't you learned how to change tyre at your driving school?' 

I just love trying out new things on my own that I even thinking of getting the tyre out by myself. Then after whatsapp-ed my brother, mum called and I asked her if she know how to change tyre. I can do it, just gimme the instructions. She said it might be quite hard and asked me to wait for my brother that I went I don't think that would help. He didn't know how to change tyre does he? 

Anyway to cut the story short, after almost two hours of waiting. Calling coming in and out by mum and dad, waiting more and more for brother to came. Having to endure this craving to not eat nenek's subway it was just too hard its raining heavily outside theres no way to go and stomache just got to do its grumbling sound at the exact time. Here comes one van stopping by behind us and this one kind hearted uncle came and asked of what happened. And I said we just need to change the tyre. He went straight to the back of the car and get the spare tyre out, he's also getting help from his son. Im guessing his son was just around eleventh or twelve years old. I gave his son some money that I just passed by to his hand when he got back into his van, his quite shocked at first but I said thats okay thankyou for helping out and he just smiled. I am about to give that to the uncle but I am afraid that he might refuse to take it. All in all, money isn't worth anything compared to what they did. 

After all those chaotic but glad to have one moment, mum called again and asked us to pack up our stuff since we're going to Johor on the next day and we have to make move that night. Instead of standing up again and argue, I packed up my stuff and do what im supposed to do. I guess its not that bad to just be in the moment and cherish it no matter whats the circumstances youre having. 

Went back scroll up facebook and found this, thats my mum. 

We stayed in Melaka before going to Johor the next day and I forced myself to wake up early in the morning after performing my subuh prayer that day. Went out and found out how soothing the blue sky is. Soothing blue sky is always soothing.

"And if you count the blessings of Allah, never will you be able to count them"

[Ibrahim; 34]

I saw KK been busy with her Deepavali's celebration preparation on facebook. 

Happy Deepavali babe. 

I need to practice how to change tyre.

Gift

As a muslim, new day begins when maghrib prayer's being called. And a day ended when 'asr prayer's being called. Being a human sometimes make us forgot of what is and what so in this just-stop-by-for-awhile world. Being a human sometimes make us took our obligation too lightly. We tend to have this feeling of not enough of what we have or even had. Seeing someone who can afford something that we can't. Seeing someone who can strikes every single thing without having to put lots of effort. Seeing people have got great oppurtunity in their life that sometimes we ponder, how come we didn't get that?

Honestly, not even single human being can predict whats so and whats ahead. Whats coming and what to expect living here as a human being. Unless you're one capable fortune teller of the future which I assumed you just won't live long for false hope. For that sometimes I'm scared and having a fear to just walk straight and look forward of what is there waiting for me ahead. What is there that I have to get through, where am I heading, what is there for you to get at the end of the journey.

Looking back through times I would say, I just had this most amazing life journal that I could ever asked for. I don't have any single regrets for not going to any boarding school not having to know what is it feels like staying away from your family for a long period throughout my being-a-school's-students-life. I don't have any single regrets to have being what I used to be back then. I don't have any single regrets to have meet each and every person that I have known, meet and greet. 

And I dont have any single regrets to have choose what am I choosing now. Should not.

Having the most amazing crazy bunch of friends that I could never trade for anything else. Having the most stubborn cheeky five siblings that will just be incomplete if one of us were missing. Having to had lovable teachers yang sudi mengajar diri ini dari kecik kecik terasa nak dilempang sehingga besar panjang. And most of all, having this two vital soul of mine for bringing me up to this world, mummy & abah. Thankyou is just not enough for words of how much I thank Allah for having these people. 

"Now its about time, what is your gift to the world?"

Its 8.25 pm here in Malaysia

Happy 18th Birthday Dear Self. 

Problem VS Breakdown

Its been awhile since I last being a cold-hearted I-didn't-even-care-a-thing-creature.

I learnt about problem and breakdown past two days.

"You have a problem you try to fix it, the more it comes making it a cycle. You're having a breakdown you deny it, endure it without even noticing it" What is problem to you? And what is breakdown makes you? In a situation where you're stuck in a traffic jam for hours and ages, in a situation where being lazy for the whole day not realizing time passing by end up beating yourself  up at the end of the day, in a situation where exam's mood screws you and all the good times you're supposed to be having, Did you called it as a problem? Or  you're supposed to say like 'oh I'm having a breakdown' kind of way.

"It is okay to have a breakdown as long as you declared and do whatever it takes to get back to your commitment" 

I guess I am having a breakdown. A serious one. Right.


I talked to my besties the other day. The moment she keeps on mentioning about a certain date, I told her that she needs to come back here before the exact date. She didn't get me at first (eventhough she already had this doubt what-is-that-supposed-to-mean in her mind lol I just knew) until suddenly it hits her. About that certain date. I said, can I like make a wish? I can't see the future, I didn't know whats coming, I can't predict whats ahead. Making a wish earlier is like hoping and praying for it to be happened, with Allah's will.


I wish at that moment, on the exact date, I'll be surrounded by those people here in my list each and every one of them without missing any getting hyper nonstop chatting having a good time together like theres nothing to worry about.


That ain't gonna be a problem, anything is possible. They said.


Here's a problem, what if I want it to be, forever? As in forever after?


Oh well, seems like a breakdown. To me.

Cari

Mr. K: You really got a shadow of your mother I can see that you know
Me : Really? Lol I've heard that a lot like everytime we walk around together people might think us more like sisters *laugh*
Mr. K : Haha thats cute. You know what nurul, one day, one fine day you'll discover more of yourself. Its okay to just be in the shadow for now. I know you'll find 'you' ahead. In a meantime, just.. stay there.





Dan kerana fitrah manusia itu sifatnya mencari.



Cari Tuhan
Cari Identiti
Cari Diri



Moga Allah Redha


Thankyou Mr. K

I am not mad

I must say this year's raya was emotionally attached. Having to see few of my friends made their farewell's event at their house. Having to meet and greet each and every one of them asking and giving few words of wisdom (kind  of) Having to gather almost everyone up again for the konvoi. I don't know, its overwhelmed.


Since I was kid, I always have this fulled of respect feelings towards those who're called as 'scholars'. Society taught me that scholars are the one who represent Malaysians to be known of. Society taught me that those who're called as scholars were the one who has been choosen, the one who were so lucky and at the same time those who got great and excellent heaven of A's in their papers for the grades. Because society taught me that being one of the scholars is not easy, you need to fight for your place. You need to look good in every aspects. Thats the way.


As I grew up, I realized that I lived in a world where people around me were grabbing the chance to be called one of the scholars. Its like theres no other way for you to go and fly high unless you were born from a very wealthy family that's capable to afford you and willing to. Its like theres so many places to choose and go to so why need somewhere far from your loved ones. Its like you didn't have any other choice except to just accept whatever being brought up in front of you.


These past few days I have been quite sensitive when people keep mentioning something like 'how lucky for you to have such wealthy family that can afford you' kind of stuff. How would you know that should be called something 'lucky'? How would you know that being wealthy is the only way and suite for the word, afford? How come you didn't count and consider yourself being lucky? How come you missed that? How come?


I am not mad. I just hope people can see what I see.



"Duit tu sikit ke banyak is always enough, sebab rezeki tu datangnya dari Allah"



#Someone is turning officially eighteen today & I'm closing the day yey! Happy birthday anak raja

Seeing things differently

Dinner table talking session. I just love how after dinner we always have this nonstop talking session. Just to catch things up. Last night dinner was a bit awkward though. We discussed about the name that each and everyone of us should be called if I have got kids one day. Notice that I mentioned kids with an S amboi kau over. And I don't even know why they're pointing at me, only me. The luck of being the eldest perhaps -_-


Then mum suddenly mentioned about how she feels sorry for us. Because we're not going to have our travelling trip this year. Which mean we're going to just celebrating raya here, in KL. Which mean we're not going to meet cousins uncle aunt and others and we're not going to attend any of family's reunion's event especially on mum's side.


I just love travelling too much. I just love the feeling of driving at the highway wearing shades, junkfood on the side, chewing in one by one (if bulan tak puasa) while singing along with the song's played on air. I just love how if we traveled on ramadhan's month we're going to pack foods for sahur, dropping by at any RnR nearby, make do of whatever we have along the trip. Since mum's and abah's side were two different places which was quite far from each other, ok not quite. It is far, took us about eight hours or so sometimes by car.  Tak termasuk andai kata ragam satu satu kepala yang ingin terkucil ter ter ter semua ter di tengah jalan raya ewah kau harus bertahan sehingga tiba destinasi pilihan.


But I just don't feel like raya-ing this year. Its not because of mum is in unwell state of condition or what so, It's not because of I didn't get to travel again like we always did every year. It's not because of seeing people tweeting about packing up their stuff can't wait to go to their hometown holiday's mood all the way. It is just that I don't feel like it. It is just me.


This year's Ramadhan feels a bit odd. Might be because I am not one of the school's kid anymore so the environment is odd. Odd is not to see everyone holding quran and read it everywhere. Odd is not to have this anxiety on planning iktikaf together which almost every year is a must-do-list. Odd is not getting to gather each and every one up for iftar like always. Odd is not so much text of welcoming ramadhan came in.


The environment is different. The mood is different. Surrounding is different. Time is ticking and everything changed.


Nikmat tahun lepas satu bulan puasa tanpa tinggal walau sehari adalah dengan ini nikmat maha besar sebagai seorang gadis. Nikmat tahun lepas iktikaf hampir setiap minggu pintu rezeki luas ada saja yang datang mengundang aral tidak melintang. Nikmat tahun lepas lawatan ke pulusuk kampung bersama keluarga sewaktu beraya eh nikmat indah betul beraya kau sehingga lupa sekolah siap extend cuti tinggal kelas padahal tahun periksa menengah atas sekali nian. Sebenarnya adalah cuak juga diri ini namun kata bonda pahala menjenguk jadikan niat buat ditukar ganti agar dipermudah jawab soalan tiada hijab tutup melindungi terus okay patuh tanpa kata.


I get to feel different atmosphere at different mosque this year. Thanks to abah for that because he's the one whos being too excited in finding different masjid to try on lol. I learned more on doing the house chores all by myself, having to mop everywhere around the house, taking out garbage, dealing with clothes, having a war with the microwave, cooks cooks and more cooks. I learned to comfort myself to live in the now. I learned to encourage my own self on creating my very own environment. The one that I craved for. The one that I missed so much. And I finally found that I love baking! Yey me!



Too much things to be thankful of.



Too much nikmat that Allah had gave.



This is going to be a good start. This is my 'preparation' journey.



So whats there to be sorry for when theres so much more to be thankful of?

Source of strength

When things being too hard to handle, at one point that you feel you can't take it anymore.

Allah says:

"Verily, with hardship, there is relief" 

And you still grief. Keep counting on how long to endure the unberable. Everything else doesn't make sense. When one minute before youre still laughing and giggling and another minute when you realize you feel like each and everything is against you. Changed, three hundred and sixty degree

Allah says: 

"Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, 'We believe' and that they will not be put to test? And certainly we tested those before them, so that Allah will differentiate those who are true from those who are false" 

But then you still live in the confusion. Day by day you thought of what if and what so, too much ifs in your mind. Hoping for things to change miraclely. Hoping for magic to happened beyond your eyes. Hoping for the situation to be differently acceptable. 

Allah says: 

"Be sure we shall test you with something of fear, and hunger, some loss in goods, or lives, or the fruits (of your toil); but give glad tiding to those who patiently presevere"

"And we shall test you, until We know those of you who strive their utmost (and who are the steadfast; and We shall test your reported mettle" 

"Or do you expect to enter Paradise without facing such trials as did those before you?" 

And you go blank. You know you've done you're very best to make things better but you still feel that its not enough. 

Allah says: 

"On NO soul does Allah place a burden GREATER than it can bear" 

"And none shall be granted such goodness, except those who are steadfast" 

Keep your faith and belief firm as HE knows it all. Every. Single. Tiny. Little. Things. 

'Cry if thats what makes you feel better'

#Get well soon iron lady! I love you, now and forever

Security kills

I learned that sometimes as you go through life and see different things upon your eyes, you will found something more strange and bizarre than it has been. To know that grow up people seems to be no different than you, to know that someone you've known for so long might act like someone you've never imagined before, to know that you need to have a concrete and solid reasons for what you stand for or else people won't just give a single damn about it. Its strange. As well as a blessed.

I learned that different path I took might seems too complicated for some human being. I learned that I live in a world where good grades determines your level of intelligence, your respect and story from society towards you. In a world where you must get this, this and this kind of grade in a certain subject to achieve your dream job unless you will just die pathetically. In a world that where we need to fight among alter ego and friends for your university applications or else you won't just have at least one spot for yourself and cried historically. In a world where being one of the scholars was like the most fortunate things that could have ever happened for we will have safe place to strive hard and get highest pointers to not be having to pay the loan thus, safe spot for your job and career in the future. And waking up everyday doing the same routine every hour, getting paid getting raised, got smashed from colleague here and there and the drama went well.

That seems 'secure'. 

But hey, I am living in a 'insecure' world. If that sounds better. 

*scream*

Emotionally triggered, choose well or hell

"Things happened, past is past" Said that little voice.

I went to accompany my mum last tuesday being pleasured driving as usual since mum was not quite well these past few weeks because of her 'peranakan turun' or something like that (bibik is taking charge in helping out to urut the 'thing' going up again but seriously you won't dare to see how it goes I tell ya, one thing I can said is that; loves your mum unconditionally *hugs mum now*) so, I drove the car around bandar utama that day, mum's having this interview session with BFM radio; It is stands for Business something something, wait until you notice there's Durian.fm in Malaysia whathewhatwhathe why in the world they named it on that -_-



Anyway, the route was a bit confusing since they got lots of traffic lights and the signage was not helping either (this is another issue yang kita patut ketengahkan serta kedepankan mahupun kekiri dan kekanan di Malaysia agar tidak bingung dan berdesing kepala tahap ketiga bagi mencari jalan yang berpetakan nombor jalan dan huruf semata) But we finally made it after asking this one uncle who told us to go straight and take a look on the left side of the road after the forth traffic lights, with fulled of confidence and energize in self I drove straight away happily counting the number of traffic lights but it ended up the traffic lights were actually there, four of it. NOT the forth one in each blocks. Thanks a lot uncle!



I slowed down the car and turned signals light on since mum was calling her partner to recomfirm the place. Planning on to relax a little bit when out of the blue something crashed my car from behind. (Berdesing lagi kepala buat kali kedua sempatlah amnesia seminit tiga) I'm just being freeze for a moment since it doesn't really hits me what's happening at that time until mum asked me to stop the car at the side of the road. Then this one chinese guy with his perdana came out and attacked the taxi driver; since the taxi driver is blocking the way and he was not only nicely crashed crv, but also scratching the taxi.



And the dramas goes on.

People will easily have this 'triggered-emotion' everytime we faced something unexpectedly like car's accident for an example. No matter which side we are, either the one that got hit or maybe the one that speeding and suddenly hits random car itself, we need to realize and be in the present. In the NOW. Because the thing is, thing's happened. It has happened. Unless you have some kind of time machine to rewind the time ( Oh please make one).


Speaking of emotion it can be any typed of it, we might feels mad, sad, afraid, frightened, or whatever that comes at that point of time. How we choose to tolerate with the situation, how we planned to take it as it is, how we actually see things as 'now' is another different story. That chinese guy I mentioned before was really mad I can tell, from the way he got out from his car, roughly took his seat-belt off, smashed his door after he opened it. But then the situation went all change three hundred sixty degree when mum is acting really cool, checking each of the scratched and damage at the back of the car, even asked him if he is okay. He 'get' that and I mean it because after that he can actually tolerate well. Well enough to cooperate. (Mummy ftw!)



And I really can relate this incidents with what happened quite some time ago at my aunt's car. Where it is also involved another taxi (taxi just loves accident lol) and two younger boy. They're really young, they were just sixteen or something. The whole cases went all complicated when the one who drove the car was actually a close friend of the one who's a son of the owner of the car who gave the permission to the one who drove it without the owner of the taxi's permission itself. (I know it really is complicated, I got to  really hadam the situation for quite some time before understands it well) So they were actually like illegally drove the car around. But that's not the point.



The most blue-printed part is that when suddenly their parents arrived and I swear I saw with my own pair of eyes that the boy got slapped with his dad. Worst case, infront of everyone. (When I said, everyone I really meant corps and the whole neighbourhood) Things get even worst when the 'mummies' especially lagi menambahkan bara api dengan memberi kata kata semangat buat si suami agar melempang si anak dengan lebih kuat. Tidak dilupakan kata kata pemberi tenaga dari beberapa jiran tetangga.

The drama goes on when the father not just slapped his son, but also shouted at him and asked him what's more that they haven't provided? We sent you schools, we gave you money, we even gave you freedom of doing your own things. He also mentioned that how he had actually thought of what to give and buy for the boy's future (kind of) Mum and aunt tried to cool down the situation but what's more that you can do when you deal with it other than said things like "Takpe encik, benda dah jadi"




Things are just getting better at the end of the day.




"Kita tak kenal orang ni siapa. Sebab selalunya diorang ingat saya tak pandai jaga anak. Sebelum dicaci maki, ada baiknya saya caci maki anak sendiri agar orang keliling dan yang berkenaan puas hati"




Can you see their 'reality box'?

"How do you pray?"

 I went to meet Sharyn yesterday lol no, it's not actually a date in meeting her but I went for this coaching session which they provided for people who graduated from M&Y, the one that I participated in few weeks back. First thing that I did when I reached there was searching for the toilet and place to pray since I haven't did my maghrib prayer yet. I accidently met Sharyn in the toilet since she was there earlier than me. Excited, but not getting to really talking much, I told her quickly that I need to pray first before we get to chit chat (I was really gelabah all over, and thankgod they have this one small store beside that I can used for awhile)


Done with all the obligation, I went back as usual in the room with this relieved and more calm feelings. Saw Sharyn with her sister sitting there at the round table since everyone else have not yet arrived. I smiled, they smiled back. Once I get to sit down on the chair (which is quite big, the one that they used to use in the office, that I almost drown in it) , this one question came out; How do you pray?


Jeda.


It's not about the question that really tough and hard to be answered, It's not about the situation that suddenly went all awkward that I don't really know which one to start first. It's that maybe all this while we tend to be so comfort in our own world (I must say) or zone (to be exact). We did our prayer everyday which it has been some part of our daily routine, on that certain time, anywhere we are no matter what the circumstances is, until onetime when we had to deal with that moment of one simple question, our brain just go all over in arranging the best word to spill, the best way to explain things where honestly, it is not the best. Worst.

After quite a while of silence, I managed to get my brain's cooperation. I told myself that I come with the intentions of sharing with the other people, it's not necessary must to be heavy, there's no right or wrong of what I'm about to say. So I just, shared. I told them that we (muslims) took of what we called ablutions before doing the prayer to ensure that we're all clean from all sort of impurity (which is funny because what's going on in Sharyn's mind is that she thought that I was going to pray in the toilet earlier since I went there in a rush and told her right away that I need to pray lol silly me) I told them that we only need to rinse certain parts of our body three times because the sunnah said so since we're following it. I shared about how we need to used the mat (they called it as mat or rugs, I shared about the word 'sejadah') to cover up the floor or anything related just to ensure that the area used for prayer is clean.


Since Sharyn's sister asked me about how we determine on knowing where we have to face for prayers, I told them about the Kaa'bah which is our centre point anywhere we go, about the sun's system on determine the time of the prayer in certain kind of circumstances, about how we believes in the one and only, The Almighty.


And the rest is history.


Basically, I am not go hard on sharing things. I realized that I just shared about the things that I knew, that I do it everyday everytime, that have been told and taught from the Prophet, parents & teachers. It feels good to share and exchanging opinions, to know that they believes in many 'god' , to know that they can actually choose whenever they felt and wanted to pray, to know that they didn't have certain time or place to pray, It is OK. It's OK.

Because in the end, HE's the one who is The Most Gracious and Most Merciful.


"Lakum dinukum waliyadin" 

"Untukmu agamamu, dan untukku agamaku"



Nota bawah laut cecah dasar; 
Cupcakes semua home-made satu hari hempas pulun dengan kesayangan. Heaven!